Anger is a legitimate, human emotion. The problem isn’t the anger itself, but what you do with it the moment it arrives.
Recognise it early
Anger has early signs: tension in the jaw, fast breathing, heat in the face, a rising voice. The earlier you recognise them, the easier it is to regulate.
Slow the body down
Slow breathing in which the out-breath is longer than the in-breath calms the nervous system within minutes.
Even stepping outside briefly or splashing your face with cold water helps bring the intensity down.
A real time-out
A time-out is not running away. You can say “I need ten minutes and I’ll come back to this” — and actually come back.
What lies beneath the anger
Beneath anger there is often hurt, fear, shame or a sense of helplessness. That is where the real work lies.
Repair afterwards
Everyone loses control sometimes. What restores the relationship is taking responsibility and repairing afterwards.
When to seek help
If anger is harming your relationships, your work or your sense of self-worth — or if it comes with hurtful behaviour — it’s worth seeking professional support.
