Postpartum depression is not a failure of motherhood. It is a recognised, common medical condition — and it is treated well.
The period after birth is pictured as a happy time, which is why it’s so hard to admit that something is wrong. If you feel empty, overwhelmed or disconnected from your baby — you are not alone, and you haven’t done anything wrong.
What is postpartum depression?
In the first days after birth many women experience the “baby blues”: crying, sensitivity and mood swings that pass on their own within about two weeks. Postpartum depression is different — it is deeper, lasts longer, and can appear at any point up to about a year after birth. It stems from a combination of a sharp hormonal change, accumulated sleep deprivation, a change in identity and sometimes a difficult birth experience. It has nothing to do with your love for your baby.
When to seek help
Recognising the signs and knowing when help can make a difference
If the sadness or anxiety lasts beyond two weeks, if it’s hard to fall asleep even when the baby is sleeping, if you feel detached from the baby or overwhelmed by guilt, or if intrusive thoughts come up that frighten you — reach out for help. You can speak to your Tipat Halav (mother-and-baby clinic) nurse, your family doctor or contact the clinic directly. If thoughts of harming yourself or the baby come up, this is urgent: call 1201 or 101.
Conditions around the time of birth
Baby blues
The baby blues affect most new mothers in the first days and include crying, heightened sensitivity and mood swings. They pass on their own within about two weeks and don’t require treatment, mainly rest and support. If they don’t pass — that’s the sign to reach out.
Postpartum depression
Postpartum depression involves a persistent low mood, fatigue that isn’t explained by lack of sleep alone, difficulty enjoying things, and feelings of guilt or worthlessness as a mother. It can also appear months after birth, and after a second or third birth. Emotional therapy is very effective, and is sometimes combined with medical follow-up.
Anxiety and intrusive thoughts
Postpartum anxiety shows up as constant vigilance, repeatedly checking that the baby is breathing, and difficulty letting others care for them. Sometimes intrusive thoughts appear about possible harm to the baby — frightening thoughts that in fact reflect concern and do not predict action. It’s very important to talk about them.
Traumatic birth
A birth that didn’t go as planned, involved complications, an emergency caesarean or a sense of losing control and not being listened to, can leave a post-traumatic reaction: nightmares, avoiding talking about the birth and an intense fear of another pregnancy. Even a birth that ended safely can be experienced as traumatic, and it can be processed.
Postpartum depression in partners
Partners can also develop depression in the period after birth, and this is talked about far less. It sometimes shows up as withdrawal, immersion in work or irritability. When one partner is struggling, the whole family unit is affected — so it’s worth making sure the support addresses both.
Breastfeeding difficulties and the guilt around them
Breastfeeding difficulties, pain, conflicting advice and social pressure to breastfeed create heavy guilt for many mothers. How you feed your baby is your decision, and it is not a measure of the quality of your mothering. Emotional support helps separate the baby’s real needs from outside expectations.